Duty first, Nymeria second
by GiottoAuditore
Summary: Set in Dragon Age: Origins, Awakening. Nymeria Theirin, formerly Cousland, is the Queen of Ferelden but everyone just calls her 'Warden Commander'. Duty to the wardens and Ferelden must come first, but what about poor Nymeria? Nymeria is a proud woman who likes to complain to herself a lot, this is her story as Queen from her point of view. F!Cousland and Alistair.
1. Wardens like surprises

"And you dear wife, how are you?"

Oh Alistair, why do I have to return to warden business? I wanted to stay in court with you… Rule as your queen. Ah, what's the use? We knew this would happen. That one of us would have to return to their duties, and of course the King couldn't do it… Yet the Queen could? I guess they just called me Warden Commander now… I yearn to hear the words, 'Hail, your highness, Queen of Ferelden.' Even as a Cousland, I would never had dared to dream of being Queen. Now that I am, what do I do? Being their hero as well as their queen made it even more awkward.

Ah… time to return to my duties… maybe I could get Alistair down here for awhile. Could make it some official warden business. 'wink wink' Haha, it's a wonder that the Queen herself can't see the King unless the darkspawn are attacking!

"Warden Commander."

'sigh' What can a Warden Commander do, ay?

"Coming Seneschal…"

As I wake up, I express my tiredness of staying up late training and attending to Warden duties with a huge yawn that sets off a chain of them among the new warden recruits. I chuckle to myself thinking that it's like a mexican wave… only it was involuntary.

"Warden Commander, you have several letters concerning matters of the Arling of Amaranthine. And, what I assume are two personal ones. One from your brother, Lord Fergus and the other from his majesty." His majesty? Alistair! Oh, maker how long has it been? Since I heard his voice? Varel must have seen my face as for a few minutes it had been on the brink of tears. It was all too much to handle. Fergus? Alistair? Maker I needed a break.

"T-thank you, Seneschal. I need some time to get things in order. Tell Oghren to train the two-handed recruits, Nathaniel the archers and find some way to drag Anders into training the mages… I-I…" I lower my gaze to the floor and a tear drops down my right cheek.

"Commander? Is everything alright?" Varel speaks in a low tone so that we are not heard.

"Of course Seneschal. I must attend to this business right away. If I do not come out for mid day sparring then do not expect me for the rest of the day. Everything clear?" I wipe the tear off my face with a fast swipe and resume my composure as a warrior of the Cousland family.

"Loudly, Comm- I mean, your highness." He winks at me and goes off to give the orders.

As I enter the study in the room adjoined to my chambers, I place the letters on the desk. Amaranthine business or… personal business? Although tempting, I had to go with Warden business over personal. First and for most I was a warden, at least that was what Duncan had instilled in us at Ostagar.

Duncan… Alistair would be displaying his puppy dog eyes if he was listening right now. Oh, I promised myself not to dwell on things too much. Duncan was a great friend to Alistair and a saviour to me. Helping me escape Highever in exchange for a simple life may have been hard then but I realise now that had it not been for Duncan than Alistair and I- Don't dwell! How am I ever going to get things done while thinking of them? Sinking into my chair, I close my eyes and am lost to the fade.

"Warden Commander."

Ah, was someone coming to disturb my dreams again? I wake up from my hazy dream with a sudden jolt, only to find many of my close wardens standing around me. I was no longer in my chair.

"Commander?" Everyone has a sad look on their face… I wonder why.

I sit up in the bed…

My body feels thin and looks transparent…

I scream.

"Kahhhhh!" Falling out of my chair, I realise it had all been a dream. Dream, huh? Tears roll down my face as I feel relieved to be alive.

A few guards and Seneschal Varel run into the study to help me up.

"We heard a scream. Are you hurt, your highness?" I loved it when someone called me like that. Called me as the Queen and not a common Warden Commander who was not married to the King, Alistair. I think Varel realised he hit a sweet spot because he chose to make it a habit to call me as the Queen and everyone else had picked up on it too.

"No… I'm fine… a little dizzy and restless, but fine nonetheless."

"I will send Anders in to check on you, for now I must request that you rest or the King himself; maker bless the rule of our King Alistair, will have all the heads in Vigil's keep."

"Much appreciated." Varel left the room quietly with the guards and I returned to the pile of letters on the desk. "It can't hurt to take time for myself. After all, I _**am**_ the Queen." Picking up the letter from Fergus first, so as to raise the excitement slowly, I read:

_Dearest sister, Queen Nymeria Theirin._

_It is my greatest wish that you are doing well in all things and that you are doing the best for Ferelden and, most importantly yourself as well. I have noticed for awhile but had hesitated to mention, that you need to make sure you are happy before you can make others happy. I understand that the blight was a different matter and that you had no choice, but now you do. You may be a warden first, queen second and a Cousland third but where does Nymeria fit in? I know I should not be lecturing the Queen on such things, but I worry for you. If only mother and father could see you now. How proud they would be of the things you have accomplished in just over a year. And father would say, "You have grown into a fine woman but you will always be my pup." with tears rolling down his face. And the Queen to boot? Haha, I reckon that Nan would have a fit! Ahhh… enough reminiscing, Fergus. _

_Anyway, I did not mean to lecture you with this letter, (even though I am your elder brother and have full permission to do so.) I wanted to tell you something of how things are going over here. Although sad over the death of my beloved Oriana and my dear Oren, I have realised that the Couslands must have an heir. I am currently engaged and happy with my new fiance. She said she would love to meet you in person one day, especially when we get married, seeming as you will be her sister in law. _

_Oh, that also reminds me! Your husband, the King called me to court to discuss strategies! Haha, he is a great man and lucky to have you. But that is not the best part… Alistair has asked that I help command his and your armies while you are away and that he will need his new brother close by. To have the King as family… amazing, just simply amazing. You did well sis. _

_Lots of Love dear sister,_  
_Sincerely Teyrn Fergus Cousland, brother to the Queen._

_One more thing sister, - Alistair said he would send you a surprise in a letter. I don't know what it means but he said you'd love it._

- END OF LETTER -

I breathe out a deep sigh and bring the letter close to my chest. I wouldn't trade family for anything in the world. Taking it easy and trying to hold in the excitement of recieving a letter from… my husband? Was it alright to say that? Or should I call him Alistair as I always have? My head is starting to hurt… I should hurry up and open it because the suspense is killing me. The content of the letter reads thusly:

_To the Queen of Ferelden, my dearest wife, Mrs. Nymeria Theirin,_

_My love, it has been awhile since we have exchanged thoughts… oh maker, how did I get so bad at this? _

_Haha, your presence always made me nervous but now, just by writing to you I feel you are siting across from me. I miss the way you would correct me if I was wrong, the way your hair smelt… Maker, why are you so cruel? I am the King for Maker's sake! Why can't my own Queen be by my side when I want- need her. _

_Forgive me my love, I miss everything about you… Usually I would be fearful of writing things to you… in fear that our enemies are always watching, but this time I know and trust the sender with this important letter that bears my feelings for you. My whole body yearns for you, dear. Some nights I just lay awake, wondering if you are too… I don't plan to make this letter long as I want you by my side so I can express my feelings… and maybe then they won't sound so bad. You know how nervous I can get… I'm glad your my Queen. Remember when we were on the mission together? Remember our first meeting? Hahah I keep thinking that even though I was the senior grey warden out of us that I was really a coward. _

_I was but a boy in our first meeting and you made me a man -no, you made me a King. _

_Hopefully soon we can go visit Duncan and the other wardens' graves… to pay our respects, together? Considering that he saved us both and that we couldn't have achieved the position of rulers of Ferelden without him bringing us together._

_My love, I wouldn't have chosen a better sister in arms to become my wife._

_On a last note… you will love the messenger I chose. He has another message for you as well._

_With love and sincerity,_  
_Your handsome husband, Alistair Theirin._

- END OF LETTER -

I put the letter in one of my pockets and run to find the Seneschal. "Seneschal!" I called out in desperation. "What is going on?"

As I burst into the throne room, everyone staring at me, I see my surprise. And Maker, what a surprise it was. "It can't be…" I stutter in disbelief. "What about the armies?"

"He sent me to personally bring back his Commander." said the surprise man.

I run up to him and hug him. I know it is not very lady like, let alone queen like! But what can one do when reunited with their only living blood relative? "Fergus…" I muttered as a tear rolled off my cheek, hitting my red dress. I had taken my armor off for the day and decided to wear something a bit more queenly. Thank the Maker I had.

"Excuse me your Highness but does the Teyrn intend to stay for the night? Shall I have a room prepared?" inquired one of the attendants.

"How long will you be staying?" I hold my breath, waiting for his reply.

"I am to leave tomorrow midday with her Highness, the Queen. King's orders I'm afraid."

"If only he would make them more often. That answers your question, please prepare the guest room closest to mine."

I move towards the Seneschal and we all trade battle stories as it nears dinner time.

- Dinner Time -

As the guest and a high ranking member of court, Fergus would have been seated at the other end of the table. As this would have made conversation nearly impossible with him because of everyone else in between, I made sure he was seated at my right, usually Varel's seat. Although, he did not seem to mind as he acknowledged his presence. Had it of been Oghren or Anders who took his seat, then it would have been a battle of the ages.

"Teyrn Cousland. I hear that you have been given a position beside the King?" Varel started politely.

"It helped being his brother-in-law. So, I can thank my sister here for that. You've been taking care of her well?" Fergus inquired curiously, dismissing the question that would have led to a topic about him as he was eager to hear of his younger sister's more impressive achievements.

"Of course, Teyrn. It has been an honour to serve under the Hero and Queen of Ferelden." Varel replied in a tone that showed he was truly happy to serve the Queen.

I reached over to grab the last piece of chicken with my fork, and was intercepted by my own brother's. The tension in the room grew as everyone understood that I was always the one who got the last piece. "Just like old times, sister." "Oh, bring it on, Fergus!" As the flames grew in his eyes, the ice grew in mine. Oghren interjected, "That's enough little Couslands!" and grabbed the last piece of chicken in his hands and threw it down his throat. "Do you really wish to start _another_ civil war, Oghren?!" "Counting on it. Then we could smash more heads and drink more wine!" he yelled, as if to wake the whole keep.

"Alright sister, enough. We have much to discuss, so please excuse us." getting up, Fergus brought a hand around to help me up. He was becoming even more of a gentleman than he was the the night before Howe killed mother and father.

"Then we shall retire for the evening. Good night everyone."

Everyone repeated, "Goodnight, milady."


	2. Leaving the Vigil

- Master Bedroom -

"Looks like you get along well with everyone, sis." said Fergus as he hugged me tight. "F-Fergus... Too... Tight..." I coughed, as he released his tight grip around me. Doing this, I observed a light tear drop from his right eye and roll down his check. Wiping it I whispered, "Fergus... I know how you feel. But many people were lost in the war and we have to accept that."

Fergus brought a soft smile across his lips, "I know. That is why I wish there was some way I could protect you. To make up for not being there when- you know." The expression in his eyes showed everything he was feeling at that moment. The feeling of worry, of being unable to help the situation.

"Anyway... Your husband did not send me just to return you. Here are some documents that he needs signed and looked over. I think they are self explanatory, at least that's what Alistair said." As he brings out the documents from the satchel around his shoulder, I notice a familiar seal.

"The Orlesian seal? What matter do they have with us?" "The Orlesians are questioning the Ferelden wardens. Alistair said they were asking how you survived. He also mentioned that it was not a matter that could be spoken openly. He requests your discretion." At the last comment Fergus made, my eyes started glowing red with anger. "DISCRETION?! Why would he think I would betray him?! I am his wife!"

"Ny, calm down. He does not think you will betray him. He thinks that if something were to happen to me that there wouldn't be much information to gather, we all have enemies. In reality, he wanted to be here to escort you but Eamon wouldn't let him. Apparently Eamon said that if you could defeat an Archdemon then you could be safely escorted back without the need of the King's army. No matter how Alistair disputed against this, Eamon did have a point." I calmed myself and sat down in one of the arm chairs, sighing as I thought of Alistair.

"...smelly cheese."  
"Sorry, what?"  
"Oh, was just something Alistair would always say..."

I hugged Fergus and said, "Let us prepare for the journey so we can leave at first light. I would like to be rid of this place for a while." "As you wish, dear sister." At that, I gathered my belongings and then went to bed. I wonder what the next day will bring us, ay?

- Leaving the Vigil -

I have gathered all the men and women serving in the Vigil to say a word before I leave. "Men, women, knights and grey wardens. It has been an honor so far to lead you as your Commander of the Grey and Arlessa of Amarantine. But as you all have duties, I have one to the crown. As the Queen of Ferelden, King Alistair's wife, and the leader of many of his armies, I must return to Denerim. I will be back soon, so don't get slack off while I'm gone. Ohgren will head up the main force along with Anders leading the mages and Nathaniel Howe, the archers." Fergus whispered into my ear before I could continue my speach any further, "Sister, a small escort has arrived and a messenger wishes to speak with you." I pause for a moment and conclude my speech. "Take care of yourselves men! And remember, news to the capital travels fast!" Lowering my tone, so as to speak to Fergus, "Where is he?" Fergus led the way to the messenger. As his face came to view my feet stopped.

"Z-Zevran?!" I ran to him for the rest of the way and hugged him tight.

"Ah, dear Queen. Has been a while, 'as it not?" He smiled gently at me then pulled a huge grin as the escort came up in the distance behind him.

"Oh no... I know that grin all too well. Stop, please! For the Maker's sake!" My words must have been amusing because the laugh he gave me then was so scary it looked like he was crying. "Haha...ha... Ah, has been too long since we last met, my dear. I have brought the escort with me on behalf of his 'Cheesiness'. When I brought up the fact that the Crows would want revenge he seemed to be very worried so I said I would accompany you myself, not that your brother, the Teyrn could not bring you back safely. But... precautions must be taken to protect our beloved Queen and Hero of Ferelden."

I breathed a heavy sigh and proceeded to my chambers to gather my stuff. A loud knock was placed on my door as I was putting on my armor. "One moment." I quickly shoved on my breastplate and answered the door.

"Ma'am!"

"Wha- What is it, soldier?"

"His-"

"I can speak for myself." Zevran proclaimed as he strode into the room, stopping to sit on the bed.

"Zevran." I sighed heavily but was also relieved that it was him. Maybe we could talk about the 'Warden' days; the days of us adventuring to defeat the arch demon.

"Beautiful, we should leave now if we are to escape the coming storm." A storm? This was a surprise. The last time I had seen a storm fall over any part of Ferelden was when I was just a 'pup', as father called it.

Chuckling lightly, I said: "Very well. Let us depart."

- The journey -

"Halt!" Fergus yelled to the loyal troops escorting me. Walking over towards me and putting a hand on my shoulder he inquired, "Would you like to rest now?" It might have been that he noticed my weariness because usually we would continue for another hour or two.

Hesitantly I spoke, "Ah... Only if the troops need to. The more ground me make today, the earlier we can get back to Denerim and I to Alistair." Alistair... A calming thought to my already fatigued body. I guess those secret midnight training sessions that only the guarding soldiers new about had been a mistake. Although I hardly suspect that Varel didn't know about it. Maybe he was just being polite and didn't think it was worth mentioning, not that I would have listened anyway.

Mind full of worry, Fergus relayed his Queen's message. "We will be traveling for a bit longer so we can make more ground and arrive earlier. Move out!" The faces on the men and women who recieved this order was emotionless but for a flicker of a moment you could see the tiredness in their eyes.

Had I made a bad choice? But I wanted to get there sooner...

- An hour later, making camp -

"Make camp!" Fergus looked like he was enjoying himself leading the escort for Zevran who had been stealthily trailing behind in case of surprises.

My knees buckled, feeling an intense weight over my whole body I fell to the hard dirt ground. Lying there motionless, my eyes drifted to the night sky, bright with a moon looming overhead. Faint screams could be heard all around me as my vision faded rapidly. It felt calming, like I could be at peace. Closing my eyes, I let my mind rest.

"Your highness!" The escort resounded in horror.

"Sister!" Fergus yelled in shock while running to my motionless body.

"Nymeria?!" Zevran ran in surprise out of his hiding spot.

"Send a messanger to the King! Tell him to prepare a doctor! I will ride the Queen back as fast as I can." In protest to the Teyrn's decision, Zevran spoke up. "Shouldn't she rest? If her body is that tired then it would be better if she rested."

"I won't take any risks, Zevran! Not with my sister and definitely not with the Queen!"

"Very well, but let me take the message back to your King." Giving a reluctant nod in reply, Fergus agreed to let Zevran go. Hopping onto a horse, Zevran rode out for Denerim in haste.

"Captain!"

"Yes, sir!" the man replied with a salute.

"You are to take the escort back to Denerim as soon as they have rested. I shall take her highness back tonight. Any questions?"

"No, sir! Travel safely!"

"Very well, Maker watch over us all." At that, Fergus jumped onto the horse that had been carrying her highness's personal effects and placed her between him and the mane of the horse. Holding her tight with one arm, his other held the reign and he departed. Making great haste he knew he could reach Denerim in a few hours, thanks to her decision to continue that extra bit longer.

"I just hope we make it in time..."


End file.
